It’s me, you. I wanted to write because I feel like you are freaking out, and you need to relax. Listen to me, YOU WILL GET MARRIED. I AM WRITING TO YOU FROM EXPERIENCE, FROM THE FUTURE.
I want to address a few things that I think you need to hear:
- The fact that you haven’t had 50,000 boyfriends does not mean something is wrong with you. It doesn’t mean that someone will think you inexperienced or weird. It doesn’t make your future husband worry, and it shouldn’t worry you, because it has nothing to do with your worth. Plot twist: you are his first girlfriend, and it’s awesome.
- I know you are feeling a little nervous because you’re getting older but you are like, 21, so literally chill. I cannot emphasize this enough. Once you are married it will be F O R E V E R (in a good way) aka you will have all the time in world. It doesn’t matter if you meet your future husband at 12 or 80 because you’ll love just as fiercely and fully, and still wish you could steal more time together. Also, you meet your husband at 22 which is young in the grand scheme of things so your whining is unfounded.
- You are not fat, and it is definitely not the reason that someone doesn’t like you or want to marry you. If this is the reason someone doesn’t like you, they are not worth liking and they don’t deserve your like so move on.
- Speaking of moving on, stop trying to convince people you are worthy of their love. You shouldn’t have to fight to be someone’s option. Stop doing that.
- Focus on your faith, your family, your friends, and yourself. This time of your life is important. Enjoy it. Pray, practice self-care, bloom where you are planted. Don’t wish the time away, because in every season of life there is purpose and beauty to be found.
- Your future husband does not complete you because there is some missing piece of you. He is the perfect complement because you bring out the best in each other. You lead each other forward, you lift each other up, and your individual strengths breathe life into your unity.
- Don’t settle. I know you have that Perfect Future Husband list written out somewhere, so stop rolling your eyes like you have no idea what I’m talking about. Keep the list, keep your standards high, and stop thinking good guys don’t exist or you won’t find one. They do and you will. Just remember to hold yourself to the same standards that you’re looking for in another.
- Don’t confuse being alone with loneliness. They are not the same.
- Be yourself, and be confident in that. You are worthy of an extraordinary kind of love, and I know you have plenty to give. Don’t compromise who you are to gain the affections of another. This never ends well.
- Trust. Live your life, keep your eyes fixed on God, and the rest will follow. It won’t always be easy but it will all be a gift.
- In the wise words of St. Pope John Paul II, “True love is free, total, faithful, and fruitful.” Don’t forget that.
Since I know you secretly love spoilers here are a few about your future husband:
- He HATES spoilers. He hates the THOUGHT of a POTENTIAL spoiler. Stay off the internet approximately three weeks before or after any Star Wars or superhero movie to avoid reading someone’s status review out loud and causing your husband undue emotional distress. You’re welcome.
- He is the best ever, and no you are not being biased. He painted the entire bathroom for you yesterday and didn’t even look annoyed when you put your hand right on the freshly painted door. Oops.
- He is handsome, and smart, and faithful and he makes you laugh like crazy. You never fight because neither of you can hold a mad face without bursting out laughing. Except, well, you are still v dramatic so sometimes the air is tense because you are stubborn and can’t let anything go. But he is the most patient, compassionate man on planet earth so you are the luckiest.
- He’s the kind of guy that leaves you half of the last cinnamon raisin bagel instead of eating the whole thing. This is a good kind of guy.
- He’s been eating a vegan diet with you for almost 8 months in a show of solidarity, so this should cover a multitude of sins forever.
- He does not care for “sad hipster indie music” like Ingrid Michaelson and Sara Bareilles, which is your absolute favorite besides 2000s hip-hop and the Backstreet Boys. Despite this, one day he will call you from the middle of New York City to play you an Ingrid Michaelson song he is listening to live. After the song he’ll tell you he traveled into the city from his house by train to the release of her new album, and stood in line to get you her autograph. When you ask if he talked to her he says, ” She looked at me and said– You don’t look like a Katie.” Classic Ingrid, amirite? Your husband is a romantic. He is also a writer. You are really hitting the jackpot, just FYI.
- He loves The Office even more than you do. He also loves the British Office most, but he accepts that it’s not for you.
- He got you a Bernese Mountain Dog a month before Christmas and it was the best, worst decision you have ever made together. She is an adorable terror.
- He encourages you to write and perform your music, and he praises it even when the song is complete s*!# and should not be played for anyone, much less someone you love.
- He loves your family fiercely. He opens doors for your sisters as much as he does for you, and he puts up with all of the crazy. And girl, you know the level of crazy.
- He is better than any Perfect Husband you would’ve dreamed up yourself, and every day you’ll thank your lucky stars that he chooses you over and over again. He is a gift.
Anyway, this is getting super long and sappy and I know that makes you want to vomit and also cry so I’ll stop. I just thought you should know how good you’ve got it. Even in the tough days and the trials you have a partner for life, and he is the actual coolest. Oh, I almost forgot, here’s the ultimate spoiler: Your Wedding Video.
I promise to be true to you
In good times and in bad, in sickness and in health.
I will love you and honor you, all the days of my life.
wedding photos via Saltwater Studios