Triumphs & Trials: Finding Hope an Infertility Link- Up
Hi friends!Sneak peak into my writing process as pictured with Boo above--ha!
I'm joining my friend Holley for another linkup this month, and I'm catching up from last month as well. Today I'm sharing about our triumphs & trials through this journey. You can find my first post about my story here and the link-up via Holley's blog here.
Triumphs
The first time I really felt triumphant on my journey was when I ovulated following my surgery. Prior to the surgery that hadn't happened in years. What a relief it was to finally feel like pregnancy was possible. Although I wouldn't get pregnant for another year and a half, it was a turning point in our story, after 3 years of difficulty.Another triumph was the first time we found out we were pregnant. I remember driving to church that morning, so thankful as I listened to the gospel from Mark, feeling like the Lord was speaking right to me as they read "Talitha koum"And again, the feeling of joy came when we found out we were pregnant for the second time, despite losing our first baby to miscarriage. That whole experience felt full of hope and joy, albeit hesitation, because it meant that getting pregnant again was possible.These are the memories I like to hold on to in the most difficult moments.But the biggest triumph is the peace that I feel about our situation, despite any circumstance. I'm grateful to finally be in a place of growth. I'm learning to lean further into who I'm called to be in this moment, instead of focusing on the next thing with such tunnel vision that I can't see the goodness of here and now.
Trials
Even with all the moments of triumph, even despite the peace, I still have very difficult days.Both of our miscarriages have been incredibly difficult, and definitely the hardest part of this entire experience.The more surprising difficulties for me have been wrapped up in how infertility affects those I love most. It breaks my heart that Steve isn't a day to a living child, because he would be the greatest father (not biased). It hurts that we don't have grandchildren for my parents or Steve's. And it's difficult to feel like I can't relate to friends and acquaintances with children.I really, truly don't say this for pity, but only because I do think it's important to share for my own healing. And because reading the stories of other women on their own journey helped me through some of the most difficult moments.Thanks for always giving me the space to work through this, friends. You are truly all so wonderful & I appreciate you more than you know.If you've found my blog for the first time and you have your own story to share, feel free to join in on our linkup via Holley's blog, leave a comment, or find me over on Instagram.Have a fab week- you are doing great!!xoKatie